The Life Coach Advises: How to Ruin Your Life Fast and Effectively

Thanks to the mixture of ancient spiritual secrets, modern science, quantum physics, psychology and,  in particular, neurology we now have enough information on how to consciously ruin our lives at a rate we could only have dreamed of until now.

It is my wish, in this article, to share with you some self-destroying habits that I consider particularly practical and effective.

 

Let Fears Rule Your Life…

To live in the presence of different fears and your cute little “phobias” is most definitely an important step for you in order to ruin your life successfully. However, in order for the process of your annihilation to be thorough it is of utmost importance to be persevering and to hold on always to the thoughts that are supporting the fears you want to ruin your life with.

The main problem with fears is that the great majority of them are completely irrational and when we closely examine them they lose their hold over us. Therefore, make sure your fears are always abstract and never face them directly – because otherwise, they will lose their power and so their influence over your life will weaken. Instead of facing them, you had better just talk about them and look for stories that feed them and support them.

Jim Rohn said that each person is the mean of the five people they spend most of their time with. So, make sure you befriend only like minded people and avoid those who persistently take action despite their fears. Such people are dangerous because their presence alone can embolden your spark to live a happy and fulfilled life.

In the instructing and illuminating biblical story on Job (The Book of Job), it is described how the main character of the story stated that what he feared the most would actually happen to him. Therefore, be steadfast in your fears, nourish them regularly and respect them and you can be sure they will see the daylight, particularly the “greatest” ones.

 

Look for Mistakes in the Behavior of Others

The more mistakes you are able to find in the behavior of the people you meet regularly, the easier it will be for you to ruin all of your relationships. Be focused and aware while talking to people and don’t forget to bring objections/reproaches and a negative critique every time you get an opportunity to do so. Start blaming others for everything that is not in accordance with your desires and wishes. If the blame game and reproaches haven’t been among your habits until now, try forcing yourself a bit to adopt them as habits and soon they will become completely natural and normal for you. Practice makes perfect. Be persistent…

 

Avoid the Poisonous Virus of Gratitude

Our freedom of choice is a cause of many problems, and one of them is the idea of gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful, poisonous virus which wakes up all that is positive within us and slows us down on the road to self-destruction.

When we are grateful we feel connected to ourselves and the cosmos and we are accompanied by a sense of love, joy and peace. When grateful we are connected to the divine spark within us and that makes us see the wonders and miracles happening every day around us.

Hence, make sure that instead of being grateful for everything you have, focus solely on what you would like to have, but still don’t have. Such an approach will create a strong pattern of scarcity in your consciousness, which will start directing your mind towards what you lack automatically. When thinking mainly about what you lack becomes your “normal” state, it will be a lot harder for gratitude to find a way to your heart.

 

Be Steadfast in Defaming and Backbiting New Age Spirituality (or something that inspires you even more)

Always be cynical, skeptical and inimically oriented towards everything that is new and unknown, and particularly towards New Age spirituality and their “mumbo-jumbo” theories. The secret lies in the approach I love to call “a priori attitude”. The point is in simply to take a stance in advance (a priori) that the whole of New Age spirituality is 100% self-deceit, without ever knowing anything about it.

In short, this approach includes two key elements. The first is that your decision must be made “a priori”, meaning before you even know what it is that you are against, and the other is that you won’t bother to try to get informed about what it’s all about, ever. In other words, make a strong and unquestionable “a priori” decision that you will never get to know what you have made your decision against.

This attitude creates strong “exclusivity patterns” in your consciousness and it is a great remedy against tolerance and accepting differences. Jesus Christ and all the great minds ever to have walked this planet were strong supporters of ideas such as love, equality and tolerance. However, since those ideas make us closer to God and open our heart, it is necessary for us to eliminate them from our lives if we want to be successful in ruining ourselves.

I have mentioned the New Age only as an example. And you can do the same with any new phenomenon – e.g.  gay marriage – however – what is of utmost importance is to include  both of the key elements in your methodology.

 

The Bliss of Nihilism

Each and every day you should cultivate the state in which nothing makes sense and in which you are too small to change anything. Such a condition will greatly contribute to your self destruction. However, you must be persistent and get rid of all different kinds of nuisances and temptations. Love, joy and peace are deeply embedded in the core of human nature and these energies are very strong and are waiting in “ambush”. People want love, joy and peace more than anything else. Love, joy and peace give the greatest purpose to human existence and if you allow your heart to “surprise you by ambush” and direct you towards happiness, you are exposing yourself to the risk of your life getting a purpose. Hence, keep this always in mind, and as soon as you feel that love, joy and peace are waking up inside you, stop the process immediately and get back to cultivating the condition in which nothing makes sense and there’s no valid purpose to life. The more you allow thoughts that support love, joy and peace to be present in your mind, the harder it will be for you to get rid of them.

A Magical Recipe for Frustration

I believe you have heard of Mary Kay Ash, the well known American entrepreneur – the owner of Mary Kay Cosmetics. When asked what she considers the key factor of her huge business success she responded:

 

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”

 

To be appreciated is one of our deep subconscious needs. It is really beautiful to be in the presence of a person who appreciates and accepts us the way we truly are. We want people to appreciate us. We want to be accepted and liked by others. Those who respect us as people stand a lot higher in our psyche than those who do not appreciate us. We are ready to do a lot for such people. We value their opinion more and their influence upon us is greater. It’s just the way our psyche functions – whether we like it or not.

However, this very need to feel accepted often “forces” us (consciously or unconsciously) to make decisions and choices that do not make us truly happy.

By trying to get others to like us, win their approval and fulfill their expectations, we are going away from ourselves and gradually we become slaves to social trends. We unconsciously allow others to control our choices and influence our moods and the image we have about ourselves. We become dependent on commentaries, opinions and the approval of others.

After several years of such conditioned thinking and behavior, we start wondering why we don’t have a clear picture of the life we want to lead….why we don’t feel any enthusiasm for our goals…why we don’t have a clear vision of the job we would like to do….why we don’t have a clear vision of the love partner we would like to have a relationship with….and where, in the world, is that joy and happiness which we want to fill our life with.

 

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Do you really want others to take over your decisions? Do you really want to be dependent on the approval of others? Do you really want to spend a great part of your life like a prisoner in your own mind? Do you really want to get to the end of your life and only then to realize you lived your life according to the wishes and expectations of others, and what was truly important to you, you didn’t do?

Unfortunately, most people are living their lives according to the wishes and expectations of others and are secretly hoping that one shiny day all the stars will align in their favor and the magical moment will somehow suddenly happen by itself, when they will finally break free from mental slavery and get to live their lives the way they truly wish.

However, waiting for the stars to align will only bring you frustration.

We didn’t come into this world to live the lives of others. It is our duty to be ourselves and to devote ourselves to creating a life which is in harmony with our life’s purpose. Of course, this doesn’t mean we aren’t going to respect others – respecting others doesn’t mean obeying them unconditionally.

It is OK to feel satisfaction when others accept and respect you as a person; however, it is something completely different to be needy and dependent of that approval and respect.

Your existence alone and of itself gives you importance. You don’t need certification from your environment. You don’t have to be a slave to society just to feel accepted. The majority of those you strive to get to like you, most of the time, are striving themselves to be accepted by others….etc.

God/the Creator didn’t create you by accident. Your life is valuable. Your talents are valuable. Your capabilities are valuable. Nobody’s better than you. Nobody’s more valuable than you.

It’s only a matter of you deciding what you’re willing to believe!

Jesus Christ and the Law of Attraction

Today it is very rare to meet someone interested in personal development who hasn’t heard of The Law of Attraction, isn’t it?

It is a widespread phenomenon that spread at lightning speed throughout the world after the movie and the book named The Secret, and it has become a frequently visited topic discussed in many books and seminars.

In short, the Law of Attraction means that like attracts like. We are like a live energy station that constantly emits the vibrations which are present within us. And what we emit we receive back in the form of our experiences, and our vibration mostly depends on the thoughts which are most often present in our mind.

If we consider the best known teachings on the Law of Attraction, the crucial point in its implementation in life is to put yourself in the state (or to be in such a state as often as possible) in which we feel we already have what we want to get or experience.

However, what often happens with this approach is that while trying to bring ourselves from the state in which we are aware that we lack what we want, into the state in which we feel as if we already have what we want, we actually find ourselves in a situation where we simultaneously emit two contradictory vibrations: a vibration supporting the accomplishment of what we want and a vibration repelling what we want – because we subconsciously know that we lack what we want.

Remember, according to the Law of Attraction doctrines, we attract what we are (the state caused by the sum of all our conscious and unconscious thoughts), not only what we wish for and think that we think (conscious thoughts – thoughts we are aware of).

If you view yourself as a person currently lacking what you want (and that is a fact!) and you are trying to attract whatever you want in your life by using the Law of Attraction, there’s a good chance you will create an unclear vibration within yourself and that the emotions you will be feeling with regards to what you want will often oscillate.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this approach, but the purpose of this article is to inform you on how you can apply the Law of Attraction in your life in a much simpler way.

Everything boils down to simply forgetting about the Law of Attraction, at least temporarily, and dedicating yourself to knowing yourself better and waking up to your spiritual nature.

And the more you get to know yourself and your spiritual nature (yourself as Spirit), your awareness of yourself as a being whose true nature is love, the more peace and happiness will grow within you day by day. You will begin to realize that everything you ever wanted to achieve by accomplishing certain goals you already have within yourself and you don’t need a reason for happiness and joy. And precisely at that moment, when you are connected to your true nature, the goals (and wishes) that appear in your mind will be your authentic goals, inspired by your Spirit.

Such goals will be present in your consciousness almost non-stop, not because you want to activate the Law of Attraction by the use of visualization in order to achieve them, but simply because you enjoy befriending them mentally and it will be happening in a completely natural and spontaneous way, without you trying to do or imagine anything in particular.

When you truly fall in love with a person, you think of them often, don’t you? However you’re not doing it because you are trying to activate the Law of Attraction by the use of visualization in order to improve your relationship and connection, but because it comes to you naturally and it brings you joy and comfort. This is simply the way our psyche is “coded”.

 

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Numerous spiritual teachings advise us first to know ourselves because that’s the place where the greatest treasures are hidden, as well as all the answers for creating a happy and fulfilled life.

If for example, I paraphrase one of the keystones of Jesus’ teachings that points us to seek first the Heavenly Kingdom, and everything else will be added to it, as well as the fact that the Heavenly Kingdom is within us, it becomes easier for us to realize that our most important task is to search for and wake up the Heavenly Kingdom within, or, in other words, first to know thyself and awaken your spiritual nature. The Law of Attraction, which continuously makes sure similar vibrations are being connected anyway, will then make sure our visions, goals and experiences are in harmony with the vibration, which is a reflection of the connection to love, joy and peace within.

“Positive” and “Negative” Thinking Are Just Labels

People tend to think that positive and negative thinking refers to thoughts that are positive or negative in and of themselves. However, this is not so. Positive or negative thinking is simply a certain way of thinking, and is not related to any specific thoughts.

Positive or affirmative thinking means thinking only those thoughts that are aligned with the reality we wish to create – thinking those thoughts that affirm the reality we wish to create.

Thought is energy. Energy in and of itself is neither positive nor negative. There is no thought that is solely positive or negative. A thought becomes positive or negative only when we determine what kind of reality we desire in our lives.

Therefore, if you desire a life of abundance, thinking about the idea that money flows abundantly into your life is positive, since it supports (i.e., affirms) your desire for financial abundance.

However, to a monk who has made a vow of poverty, thinking about money coming into his life in abundant quantities is a negative thought!

Why?

Because it negates the reality he wishes to create. In order for the monk to act affirmatively (positively) in accordance with his vow, he would have to entertain thoughts that support his poverty.

 

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Therefore, don’t accept pre-conceived notions of what is “positive” or “negative,” but rather, take a look into your heart and become conscious of what it is that you truly desire to create, and then act “positively” towards that end.

Such an approach is the only guarantee that, having received what you wanted, you will have received what you expected to receive, and will have fulfilled the initial reason for having begun to create that specific reality. You have a mind in order to use it, and not so someone else can think for you.

Are You Getting Enough Love?

Have you ever felt like you deserved more love than what you are receiving right now?

If your answer is yes, you need to know that there is a very simple and efficient way to deal with that sort of situation.

The secret is in the verb give. If you feel that you are not receiving enough love, no matter who the person is you are expecting love from, all you need to do in order to change the situation to your advantage, is to give more love to everyone around you.

We live in a Universe which works according to the principle of cause and effect. Everything we experience is just a consequence of what we have “given” – i.e. the vibrations which we have emitted into the Universe. If you are unhappy with what you are receiving from the Universe, it is time to change your approach.

When you are giving love, you are oriented toward the energy of love and you are connecting with it accordingly. The more time you spend in connection with the energy of love, the more you attract this energy into your life. Bear in mind that similar things are always and without exception attracted to one another.

You cannot give love and keep your focus on something else. Your mind is capable of thinking about anything, but you are unable to think several different thoughts at one given time. When you are giving love, your mind is exclusively oriented toward love. And that which you are oriented towards is what you are attracting into your life.

Talking about the subject, I think it is important to point out something else. Love and freedom are inseparable partners. In order to be able to feel love for anything, it is necessary that the sense of freedom be with you too.

If the love you are feeling is conditioned by certain types of behavior by anyone except yourself, you will be unable to feel freedom because on a subconscious level you realize that what you feel does not depend on you but on somebody or something outside of yourself. In that case you will constantly be followed by a sense of insecurity and fear from the potential possibility which is not in line with what you wish.

But when you realize that the love you wish to feel depends only on you in the sense that you will be receiving the same quality and quantity that you are giving, then you become free. Isn’t that great?

You are the master of your own destiny and you are free at any moment to choose how much love you will give.

So, now you know what you need to do when you feel you are receiving less love than you think you deserve. Give…

Coming Into the World – The Power of Paradigms

There are numerous theories which tell us about how we came into this world. Some of them are similar to one another, while others are quite contradictory. However, no matter how we came, it is undisputable that we have come without any attitudes about life whatsoever.

Through increasing interaction with our environment, our mind has been like a sponge and it soaked in all available information, and that is how we began forming our view of life. That is why it is no wonder that children often adopt the behavior patterns of their parents and other persons who have had a big impact on their upbringing.

I am asking you to consider the following:

“If you had been born in a culture other than this one, your entire perception of people and the world around you would be utterly different than the perception you have right now.”

Does this tell you anything?

Bearing in mind what we have just said, I challenge you to spend ten minutes thinking about one of the following questions (choose the one you find most appealing):

- Are you able to take responsibility for the fact that the reality which you are now experiencing – no matter how real it feels – is just a reflection of all your combined attitudes about life?

- Why do some people have everything they wish for regardless of their degree of education, while other people who live in the same country at the same time are barely making ends meet?

- Why do some people spend their days at work in constant monotony and anticipation of weekends and holidays, while other people who work in the same workplace enjoy their jobs?

- Why are some people happy with their life in spite of the fact that, by generally accepted opinion, they do not really have many reasons to be happy, while many others spend their days in desperation although they seem to have everything one could wish for?

- Are the events of your life a sheer coincidence or are they consequences of unalterable and determined destiny, or are you the one who creates the reality you live in?

Joy As a Measure of True Success

Success is something we seek naturally. No one likes or wishes to be unsuccessful. However, true success is an entirely personal matter, and depends exclusively upon us. True success always brings joy, inner peace and growth with it. The more joy and peace we have in our lives, the greater the success.

Success isn’t primarily based on the things you own or on the social acceptance you have. What’s the use of having something if it isn’t something that truly fulfills you and brings you joy?

Unfortunately, it seems few people think this way. Look around you. Look at the number of people who seem to have everything one would want, and yet…something is desperately missing.

Why?

Many have been creating wealth their whole lives, simply in order to prove their worth to someone else, without paying attention to their heart desires and higher visions.

Success isn’t something that can be determined by other people’s standards; only you can do this.

You are the only person who knows your circumstances, your heart desires, and the possibilities open to you at any point in time. Only you know if you’re truly successful or not.

You can make the whole world believe that you’re something you’re not, but when you stand in front of the mirror, the person reflected in it always knows the truth. Only you are in touch with your own feelings, which clearly show you where you stand on the path of personal and spiritual growth.

While one person may feel that success means becoming the president of a country, someone else might feel successful if they’re able to create three extra hours during the day to do as they please, and even do nothing if they wish. While one person feels that success is becoming a millionaire, another sees a stable and fulfilling family life as the peak of success.

We are all as different as we are similar. And that’s wonderfully okay.

The only measure of true success in your life is the amount of joy you feel every day.

Positive Attitude – Is it the Hardest Job in the World?

What do you think is the hardest job in the world? Is it being a surgeon… lawyer… priest… professor… musician… writer… policeman…?

Personally, I think that the hardest job in the world is forming the habit of thinking about the particular kind of reality that we wish to experience. By that I do not mean just the moments when we are feeling all right and we think everything is great. Rather, I am referring to thinking about it during the entire day regardless of what is happening around us.

But, why is it so hard to think constantly about what we want to experience? If there is something that we love and desire for, would it not make sense if it were the one and only focus of our thoughts?

Thinking about what we love and want in our lives can often be very hard precisely because we have not been taught to think that way. Indeed, not many people have had a chance to be taught from their early childhood that the way we think and look at the world is the crucial factor in creating the things which we experience in our lives.

From our earliest days we learn to listen hearing people complaining about life’s circumstances and blaming “others” for the problems they have. Without questioning, we are beginning to accept the patterns of thinking handed down to us by our parents, teachers, politicians, priests, and others, and accepted them as our own. Such adopted ways of thinking have brought us into the reality that we are experiencing, and our experience of such reality has only strengthened our beliefs which created the reality in the first place. We have all heard people say, “Have I not told you so… listen to me, I know better.”

We have been taught to see things that have happened in our life as “givens” which cannot be changed, and that the best way to deal with it is to figure out how to blend into this given reality.

Be as it may, be aware that what we call “our reality” is not something that is happening independent of us, but our reality is a direct consequence of the thoughts we have been engaging in the most.

If you wish to alter the reality you live in right now, you must change your way of thinking, and as a consequence of the change in your thought pattern you will experience a new reality which will be in harmony with your new way of thinking.

However, thinking about what we want is not hard for the reason that it is objectively hard; instead, it is hard because we have developed a long-term habit of thinking and talking about the things we do not wish to have in our lives.

How do we change this habit?

We can change this habit by practicing every day how to focus our attention to that which we wish to create in our lives, no matter what the issue is. In the same way that we form our muscles by lifting weights, we can also create a new reality by focusing our attention on new thought patterns. The more you exercise, the easier and more fun it gets. The principle is the same: we are just dealing with a different kind of creating.

Of course, it is clear that this is no easy task, but does that matter when your life is in question?

The more you speak and think about what you wish to create and subsequently experience, the easier it will be for you to think even more about what you wish, and to take practical steps toward achieving your goals.

So do your mental “workouts” daily in the sense that you need to create a gradual and conscious habit of thinking and speaking only of those things that make you happy. All other thoughts are simply to be rejected. They are not for you.

The Conscious and Unconscious Approaches to Creating Reality

Whether you like it or not, you are at this moment creating your own reality. Yes, even while you are reading this article. There are, however, two different approaches in creating reality.

One approach is the unconscious approach. It is about people who do not use purposeful intention in creating what they wish to experience, but they exclusively react to the events that surround them and the decisions they make in accordance with that. Such people will never think about creating their lives according to their heart’s desires, but will only go about following the existing standards of thinking and behavior. To exclude oneself from the generally accepted ways of thinking and choosing something that most people do not choose is an unacceptable option for them. People who are like that can never be happy because happiness and joy are only present in a person who follows the way of their heart regardless of whether the path has been trodden before or not.

Unlike the unconscious approach, the conscious approach is chosen by people who have decided to create their own reality in the way they want to experience it.

They are not burdened with questions like, “Has anybody walked this path before?”, or, “Is this road a safe road to walk on?”, but instead they walk boldly toward achieving the highest vision of their lives.

They know that they have come to this Planet with a certain purpose, and they are aware that if they want something deep down in their heart, they can make it come true as well. They know that the Origin of all our true desires possesses all that is necessary for manifesting such desires.

They never compare themselves to others: they only compare themselves as they are to themselves as they wish to become.

Speaking of their life’s circumstances, no matter how pleasant they are, they do not regard them as a given nor do they take them for granted, but they realize that they alone have created circumstances to be such as they are, and that they continue to create them. They are aware that their circumstances are but a reflection of what is inside them.

Which approach to creating reality do you prefer?

Two Kinds of Desires

There are two kinds of desires. One kind is those desires which have been artificially created by society, while the other kind is those that come out of our hearts and are in harmony with our purpose in life.

By applying adequate methods and exercising much perseverance you can achieve most of the desires that society has artificially created and imposed upon you, but achieving such desires can never allow you to experience what you were expecting to experience before you set out to achieve them.

From our earliest days, the teachers in schools, politicians, and many other different authorities have been trying to create an image of what they think is best for us and impose upon us the vision of life which we should strive for. Religious teachers are trying to persuade us that only the religion they speak for is the right one, while all the others are wrong, of course!

In other words, from our earliest days society is treating us like a huge flock in which we all should live in the same way, have the same ambitions, believe the same vision of God and strive for the same ideals.

Many fall into such traps and live their entire lives in them. Once they realize that their life is not anywhere near what they thought it would be, they comfort themselves by thinking that God has meaningful reasons for why things are so, or they think that by living like that they are clearing out their past-life karma.

Though all of us have been through such phases in our lives to an extent, that does not mean that at this very moment we cannot take a different route and begin living the way we really wish to live. Every individual has the possibility and the freedom of choice to take a look into their heart and seek the answer to this question, “Why have I come here?”, or, “What is it that I have come to experience?”

In order to become aware of the desires of our hearts, we first need to become aware that we have such desires in the first place. Our awareness of the existence of these desires is a great step toward our consciousness of them.

The second important factor in becoming aware of such desires is our intention to become conscious. If you are persistent enough in your intention to become conscious, it is just a matter of time when such desires will begin to flicker in you, making it perfectly clear to you that those are the desires of your heart.

In becoming conscious of your heart desires and purpose in life in general, prayer can be of great help. Regardless of your religious background, praying just means talking to God/Higher Self/Source/Universe (or whatever you wish to name it) – and nothing else! Praying does not mean that you need to be humble and kneel on your knees. Prayer is not doing what the prayer book in a certain religious group says, nor is it using standard forms or texts which are used for prayer. You can pray at any time and in any way that seems appropriate to you. I would even recommend that instead of the word “prayer” you use the phrase “talking to God.” Such phrasing is energetically much closer to what prayer should be.

You do not need to belong to any religion or spiritual organization in order to have “the right” to talk to God. In the same way that you speak with any person that you are free to talk completely openly, you can also talk to God in the same manner.

What we have said so far is literally all you need to know in order to begin praying. You can go and discover further steps based on your own experience. The more you practice prayer, the clearer and more comprehensive your communication with God will become.

Another extremely efficient way of becoming conscious of the desires of your heart, is meditation. When we talk about meditation, it is important to be aware of the differences between meditation techniques and the state of meditation. Techniques of meditation are active steps toward achieving the state of meditation, while meditation in itself is a state. Meditation is a state in which we feel completely connected to our spiritual Self. It is in the state of meditation that we can experience most clearly the essence of what we hope to experience after we have achieved individual goals and desires, which is precisely why I personally consider meditation to be the most important tool in bringing consciousness of the energy that we are so eager to experience on Earth.